


Loneliness in the Night

by Seira_g



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Implied Relationships, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-22
Updated: 2012-08-22
Packaged: 2017-11-12 15:36:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/492827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seira_g/pseuds/Seira_g
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bakura lies awake in the middle of the night, remembering how many times people have left him, when Malik makes him a promise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loneliness in the Night

As I awaken in what I assume to be the dead of night, drenched in the sweat of a nightmare and only just regaining my senses, the very first thing I notice is him. His scent, his looks, and especially the way he feels- lying within my embrace, his hair tickling ever so slightly at my nose. And on top of that, he's so  _warm,_ like nothing I could have ever imagined. The only thing I want, no, the only thing I  _need_ , is to pull him closer, so close that he'll become a part of me, one that will never leave.

It's almost pathetic, really, how I tend to dwell on impossible dreams such as that. Because as I of all people, should know, happiness doesn't last forever. People will leave, whether it be through boredom, death, or aggravation. The only question that can be found in that is, when? How long will we be able to live through these days before I face that inevitable heartbreak yet again? Will I be ready to see it happen? To lose yet another person that I foolishly began to care about?

The easiest thing in the long run would be to push him away now. While I can still feel his heartbeat and hear him take a breath, I should force him to hate me, like the rest of the world already does. Even if he spends the rest of his days cursing me as he does the pharaoh, it will lighten the load that I will end up with when he leaves this world.

It's too bad, really, how impossible this seems, even to me. Despite the promise I made long ago to never get close to anyone- especially not someone who, unlike myself, would eventually die- I found myself in a state that was as close to "falling in love" as someone like me could ever get.

I could leave, right now. Slip away in the darkest hours, in a time where he can't stop me. Yet this also proves to be impossible, as all I can seem to do is pull him even closer, bury my face in his messy blonde hair, and do something I haven't done since I was a small abandoned boy in the middle of the desert. It starts off as a few tears pricking at my eyes, but before I know it, sobs are shaking my entire body, and they won't seem to stop, no matter how hard I try. Millennia worth of emotions that I had previously struggled so much to hide came pouring out of me, as I yet again came to the realization that my time with someone I had grown to care so much about would eventually come to an end.

Leaving me all alone in this world, once again.

Suddenly, I feel him stir ever so slightly. I momentarily fear that I had woke him up, and as his eyes gradually open and gain focus, I try desperately to compose myself. Eventually, he turns around in my grasp, so that he's staring up at me.

"…You're crying," he said, the tone of his voice obviously surprised, despite the sleepy lack of emotion on his face.

I force a bitter smile. "Obviously," I respond to him, my voice shaking. "Anyone could have figured that out."

"Bakura…" he frowns, then brings a hand up to my face, attempting to wipe away some of the tears. In a moment of weakness, I let him. "Did something happen? I've never seen you like this."

I pause. What could I possibly tell him, at a time like this?

"…Hey, Malik," I finally say, my voice still hoarse from crying, although I've settled down a bit. "How long do you think this can go on for?" He continues to stare at me, a look of confusion crossing his face.

"What are you-"

"You know exactly what I mean." Upon having to explain it, I almost started crying for the second time that night. "I've lived for over 3,000 years, and more than once, I've found myself growing closer to people. I always try to stop it, but in the end, I always end up hurt. I have no choice, Malik. I need to push them away, because if I don't, they'll leave anyways, and it'll only be harder to let them go. Humans die. That's the way it is. You're going to die eventually, too. And at this point, I should have come to terms with that." I couldn't help it- I buried my face in his chest, pulling him as close as I possibly could. "So why? Why do I get so upset at the thought of losing you?"

Malik said nothing for several minutes, yet I didn't need him to. All I really needed was for him to be there as I let myself go for the first time in thousands of years.

Finally, he said something to break the silence. "It's never an easy thing," he said, "to lose someone you love. It doesn't matter how many times it happens. The pain never really goes away, does it." He smiled sadly. "No matter how cruel that person is to you, or how well you got to know them. If they were ever important to you, you don't want to let them go. It's that simple."

"Malik, I-"

"I know I don't really understand," he continued, cutting me off as though he hadn't heard me. "So I probably have no right to tell you how to feel. But I promise you, Bakura. Even though death will eventually separate us, that will be the only thing. I promise." And then he kissed me- not rough or intense, like the ones we had normally shared in the past, but slow, even gentle. And yet, it was still just as nice, if not nicer than usual. Despite the fact that it was completely out of character for me- just as the rest of this slightly odd night had been- I realized that I really did have someone here for me, even if it was just for a fleeting moment.

Not that it really mattered, at that moment.


End file.
